Pathology and then some

It would be easy for me to say I’ve been in a deep dark sleep while time stood still after my last post – that I’ve just had one good night’s rest and I’m here blogging my updates the following day as promised. But, then again, who am I fooling? Just myself evidently, but honestly, where in the hell does time go? It’s not like I’ve been up to my eyeballs in work as I usually am. I have, however, been “busy” and haven’t for a moment gotten bored or stir-crazy. I suppose between writing thank you notes, catching up with long-distance friends, watching a few CSI and Law & Order reruns (and maybe a couple of Young & the Restless episodes), learning more and thinking about my next steps with breast cancer and enjoying the steady stream of visitors, I haven’t had many extra hours in my day. Yet, I can’t believe it’s already two and a half weeks post-op! That alone proves for me how short life is.
I did, as mentioned, go to my first battery of follow-up doctor’s visits. First, with my plastic surgeon, Dr. Matthew Becker, who said I was healing nicely and took two of my drains out.Talk about feeling like an octopus with these extensions coming out of my side. But he’s been fabulous, and from what I can tell, I should be very pleased.
I stopped by my Leadership Knoxville class to say hello between doctor visits as they were getting ready to leave for Nashville for two days which I was sad, sad, sad to miss. That had been a small goal of mine before surgery but as the day arrived I figured it was in my best interest to stay close to home. Just couldn’t risk pain meds or lack of energy causing me to fall asleep at dinner while chatting with one of our state legislators. Definitely would not have been a good look.
Next, was Dr. Bell and somehow in the mile in a half between The Baker Center and UT Hospital I got a bit weepy. I can’t tell you why but despite my efforts to put on a happy face and dry my eyes before Dr. Bell came in the room – he immediately asked me what was wrong to which I teary-eyed replied, “Nothing” while he emptied a box of Kleenex and handed them to me. I’m not very convincing I suppose. He handed to me, however, excellent news from my pathology. Woo hoo! My nodes are clean, my margins are clear and my tumor (oddly) is half the size the MRI indicated – from 1.8cm to .9cm – which now raises the question of whether I have to do chemo or not.
I have also qualified for what is known as an Oncotype test which is a clinical trial that tests my tumor to see what my possible recurrence rate is which further helps determine whether chemo would be beneficial or not. While dodging chemo would be ideal, I have to spend some time digging deep to figure out what in my heart of hearts is the right thing for me. Remember my spiel about being your own best advocate. I just don’t know if I want to come this far, having made the decisions I’ve already made and not continue to do everything humanly possible (within reason) to avoid recurrence – based especially on that “window” of life that gives me a lot more time for one wandering cell to plant itself somewhere and take roots. So…based on the results, I shall be making a decision within the next couple of weeks and beginning whatever treatment shortly after that.

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